Some things never change.

After cruising 16 times on 14 ships and 5 cruise lines, I've learned that some things are always going to be the same. Your room steward will always make animals out of towels, you will hear the same jokes, there will be a midnignt buffet, there will be an ice carving demo, and Baked Alaska will be served on the last formal night.

One joke you can count on is the one about how you get on as passengers, but eat so much you get off as cargo. There will be jokes about the sound of those little vacuum fired toilets, and someone will mention that a gallon of fuel is good for about 17 inches of forward motion.

There will be a ship's orchestra that plays mid-20 century music, and a pool deck band that plays everything else. There will be a comedian who jokes about how small his room is. The casino will be filled with smoke, and the ship will always sail past the best scenery at night. One hot tub will be too hot for anything except potatoes, and another one will be a luke-warm tub. There will be at least one day rough enough to slosh water out of the swimming pool.

And I've never been on a cruise where nobody got sunburned and nobody over ate.

But I have to admit that I never want to get off, and can't wait for the next cruise. I especially miss those little critters made out of towels.